Breach of Conduct
by TheAmethystRiddle
Summary: Kirk makes a decision he'll probably regret- once he's sober, that is. And, of course, Spock and McCoy both have something to say about the situation. Rated T for language.


"Dammit, Jim, why the hell'd you go and do that?" The good doctor was more concerned than angry, he knew that, and he'd never been too worried about concerning Bones. Bones was concerned about everything. So why did he feel so incredibly guilty?

"Aw, you know me, Bones. Just to start shit. C'mon." He flinched as Bones swabbed particularly roughly at the broken skin over his cheekbone. Spock hit _hard._

"Well, trust me, you didn't just start it. You threw it straight at the fan." Bones froze, one hand on the medikit next to the examination table on which Kirk sat and the other frozen in midair, still holding the bloody gauze. "Are you _drunk_?" he asked, dropping the gauze in a waste bin and leaning in to inspect Kirk's pupils.

"Well, maybe a little," Kirk slurred. Yes, that was right. Drunk. It was all part of the plan, he remembered. Otherwise he never would have gone through with it.

"Jim, you moron!" Bones really was angry now. But still concerned, so that was good. If he could keep Bones concerned, then he would probably forgive him. Spock was another matter. But was Bones still talking? "- can't just run around drunk like that in front of your crew! You have an image, a reputation to maintain! And what will they say back at Starfleet?"

Hm. That was an issue. What _would_ they say back at Starfleet? Well, he would cross that bridge when he came to it. And he was sober.

"Look, Bones, they don't need to know," he heard himself say. No, that wasn't right. Bones wouldn't like that. "I mean, maybe they do, but not right now. Right?"

"I have to disagree with you, Captain. I am of the opinion that Starfleet should be informed immediately, and that you should be forced to relinquish command of this vessel." Spock's voice was cold, hard, sharp, like a knife being twisted into Kirk's jawbone. He could feel dual points of pain forming in the top of his skull as Spock spoke.

"You're not even going to give me some time to sober up?" Kirk asked, his own voice as grating on his ears as Spock's. He tried to be polite, but somehow the words still came out petulant, sarcastic.

"'Sober up'? I was not aware of your inebriation. In that case, I am willing to, at least partially, excuse your actions. I am aware of the human tendency to act irrationally under the influence of alcohol. I will naturally wait to press charges until-"

Bones jumped indignantly to his defense. "Charges? You're going to charge him? For what? For-"

"- Assault, Doctor. Captain Kirk assaulted me."

"_Assaulted_ you? Why, that's the most overblown exaggeration I've ever heard!" Now Bones was mad. Kirk was glad it wasn't at him, but all the yelling was giving him a monster headache.

"I have a room full of witnesses who can testify to such."

"Witnesses? You listen to me, Mr. Spock! Unless all jury members are required to check their objectivity at the door, you're going to lose that case! If anyone was assaulted it was this man here!" He took Kirk's chin in his hand and twisted his head to show Spock the darkening bruise and the congealed blood on top of it. "You see that, Mr. Spock? And there's not a mark on you, so you can't claim self-defense!" From the corner of his eye Kirk could see Spock's resolve wavering. Good old Bones. Still, he'd have to be careful. After a row like this, one wrong move and Bones would have his hide.

Spock fidgeted for a moment, clearly unsure. Finally, he spoke up in an annoyed tone of voice. "Very well. I will not press charges. I will, however, be filing a report detailing the entire matter." The Vulcan turned on his heel and stalked out of sick bay.

"… pissy little bastard," he heard Bones mutter as he turned back to his patient. Kirk let out a deep sigh. He wasn't sure, but he might have been holding his breath. "And you!" Bones suddenly rounded on him and Kirk jumped violently. He hadn't been expecting it. He braced himself for one of Bones' tirades, but it never came. Bones sagged tiredly after a minute, heaving his own exasperated sigh. "I guess I can't quite blame you for being a complete idiot. Get some sleep. You'll need it. I'll write you up some excuse for skipping your shift. 'Course, with a bruise that size on the side of your face, it shouldn't be that difficult…" Kirk could hear Bones still muttering to himself as he laid down and Bones wandered off. He wasn't sure if things had gotten worse or if they'd just been that bad in the first place. One thing he _was_ sure of, though, was that he'd screwed up. Bad.

_It's all part of the plan_, he told himself. But what was the plan, exactly? Now that he thought about it, he was pretty sure his brilliant plan ended here. More of that crossing-bridges-when-he-came-to-them crap.

He should never have kissed Spock.

* * *

**A/N:** Hi, guys. I normally put my note before the story, but obviously in this case it would kind of ruin the element of suspense. Yeah. I got the idea from a K/S vid to the song "I Kissed a Boy" by Cobra Starship. It's a pretty good cover/remake kind of thing, and you know you can just see Kirk kissing Spock to start something. And because he has secret hidden feelings for Spock. ::cough, cough::

The ending sort of leaves things open, but since I don't really have any idea where to take the plot (other than half a paragraph to precede a conversation between Spock and Uhura), I think I'm going to leave it as it is, at least for now. So anyway, thanks for reading!


End file.
